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On locking myself out of my own server

We're moving house today, using nothing more than a 2-door hatchback and a fuckton of petrol. It ain't fun. A nice chap with a van will be round tomorrow to take the things that simply won't fit in the car (like beds and sofas), but we're doing the rest of it ourselves. We really haven't organised ourselves very well.

On top of that, the monitor on my main PC has finally given up and died, which means that the only computer to which I currently have access is the shitty old laptop I'm currently typing on. Argh argh argh.

Right now I'm trying to find a way to ssh into my main machine to get access to my data again. Sadly, the machine in question was never designed to be network-accessible, so I'm basically trying to hack my way past my own firewall. It turns out that I'm a far better white hat sysadmin than I am a black hat cracker. I can't get in. Argh argh argh again again again.

Me: Let me in.
The Headless Dead Box: No.
Me: Let me in, god damn it!
Me: Sudo let me in! Look! I know the root password!
THDB: I don't care. You look dodgy. No dice.
Me: Don't make me resort to telnet.
THDB: lolz port iz closed nub
Me: I know it's closed! I closed it! Just let me in!
THDB: No. This incident will be reported.
Me: Yes! It will! To me! I am the person you report to! Me! Ich bin root! Let me in.

Johnnie Ingram

A portable Geek-to-English translation unit. Atheist, pedant, undercover feminist. Stalker of stand-up comedians. Quite likes Doctor Who.

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